


It's [not] Okay

by Ayuukang



Category: Suikoden I
Genre: Gen, Mentioned of death characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-05
Updated: 2014-12-05
Packaged: 2018-02-28 06:19:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2721881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayuukang/pseuds/Ayuukang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not okay, but in the end, everything will be kinda okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's [not] Okay

**Author's Note:**

> Aww man I make myself sad again.
> 
> Warning: Bad English. Grammatical disaster. Unbetaed. I'll be really happy if there is someone willing to beta it.

He dreams the same nightmare almost every night.

There was so much blood. It dirtied his hands.

The first one was Odessa’s blood. Red just like her cape, and her whispering words echoed in his ears.  _Throw me in the stream. Get rid of my corpse. Don’t let them know I am dying. **It’s okay** , Tir. This is my last job as a leader._

The second one was Ted’s. His face look so pale. His eyes looked into him, stared blankly, there was no life. His lips didn’t move, but there was his voice. _Let me die. Tir, let me die. I can’t have myself hurt you anymore. Let me die. **It’s okay**. I prefer die than hurt you._

The third one was Gremio’s. He vomited so much blood from his mouth when a kind of plant tied his legs, and his arms, and his head. He stared at him blankly, whispered,  _I died for you, young master. So you can survive. **I’m okay**  with dying, as long as you’re alive._

The fourth one was his father’s. His father’s blood spluttered to his face, it dirtied his hand so much. It make his body covered in blood. In front of him, his father stood, his yellow cape turned red. He was smiling.  ** _It’s okay_** ,  _my son,_ whispered him.  _ **I’m okay**  with death. I’m proud of you. **I’m okay** killed by you.  **It’s okay** , it’s the best you can do._

And usually, he will awake. He will scream, so much sweat covering his face, his eyes widened with shocked expression. He will cry so loud, his whole body shivering. Gremio, who sleep beside him will open his eyes immediately, then hug him so tight, pat his head and kiss his forehead and whispering;  _'ssh. **It’s okay.**  I’m here, young master. I’m here and alive.  **It’s okay**. You didn’t kill everyone.  **It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.** ’_

He will keep whisper the last words again, and again, and again, with tiny voice. His young master’s sobs will be weakened, and slowly, his breath will be normal again. His whole body shuddered, and he will embrace the older man tightly, like a little child with bad dream.  _Ah,_  but that’s it. He is a little boy who just had bad dream, and he really, really need his servant to be on his side and hug him, tell him  **it’s okay**  and everything would be  **okay**.

But the man, the same man who hug him tenderly, whispering  **'it's okay, it's okay'**  can’t do his job forever. Soon, his time to meet  _Death_  again will come. Soon, there will be time when the young master will has nightmare, and crying, shouting, and there will be no one who will embrace him and tell him  **it’s okay**.

But  **it’s okay**. It’s okay since he didn’t killed Gremio,  **it’s okay**  because he will remember that warm embrace and tender voice and big hand which pat his head slowly whenever he has nightmare again.

So,  ** _it’s okay_**.


End file.
